There comes a point in your life when you just want to "bloom". You want to give it all you got, even if that means losing that bubble you've built around yourself for all these years. I was that person. I am that person, still. I have spent over 20 years deciding on who I want to be. I took my cues from people around me. I would allow them to project their image onto me. It was frustrating to say the least. I felt powerless in my own skin. Have you ever felt that? I felt that whoever they wanted me to be had to be "good". I trusted them implicitly after all. Why would they steer me in the wrong direction?
Unfortunately, people don't always know what's good for your soul. That part of you can even be untouched by you. I know it seems completely strange, but think about your desires. Think about what drives you. What exactly in this world inspires you? We are a bunch of human beings, but what are we "doing". Live the life you have always dreamed. Sure you may not have all the resources you need, but once you start moving within your lane...something powerful will happen. The lack you were experiencing starts to evaporate.
This seemed like a bunch of rambles, but I have been so inspired by the world around me. Keep trucking. You got this and it is going to be awesome. Rah. Rah.