Hey Ya’ll -
It feels like I am holding my breath sometimes. The sheer thought of breathing sends me into a panic and I hold back baited breath. I feel as if I am poised to fall over without life giving oxygen. Why have I been restricted to this life? Why have I allowed myself to be held within this box?
You know it’s easy to do. It is easy to just stop moving. It is easy to just give way to fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of the known. Do you see how wrapped up you can get? You can literally stop yourself at every turn. You can stop yourself from growing, developing and engaging with healthier parts of yourself. Why is this? It is because fear is a powerful fucking beast. It can tell you anything you want to hear. It can reach back into 5 years ago and let you know “you fucked up”. How can you push past this? What magical answers do I have? I don’t have any. I wish there was a one-stop shop for answers.
There isn’t a cure all. Omg, if there was I would have fucking taken it. All we can do is listen to that fucked up voice in our mind and question it. Ok, that’s the cure all. Question shit! Dig through every fucking morsel of bullshit your mind is willing to put you through. If you do that you can actually see you aren’t afraid of anything. Well maybe you are afraid of the answers.
It takes time to get there and not cower. You know sometimes you have to come to grips with the answer. Yes, the answer may fucking suck. At least you had the nerve to question your own authority. That’s the 1st step. That’s the 1st step indeed.
What are your thoughts?